Scenario: Man & Woman pre-dating
Man
Loves everything outdoors, especially rock-climbing
Loves having bro camping trips and nights out for drink specials
Enjoys going home to spend time with his younger siblings
Likes to spend his ‘me time’ fishing on the dock every Sunday
Woman
Loves Netflix and can binge watch the heck out of a series
Loves Pure Barre
Enjoys babysitting and being a devotion-group leader for young girls in her local community.
Likes to spend her ‘me time’ at the dog park with her pug, Ralph
These two met at drink specials one night and instantly hit it off. From this moment on they were inseparable. They did everything together.
Scenario: During the relationship
Man
Spends majority of his time indoors since his girlfriend thinks it’s “too hot” to go rock climbing.
Doesn’t go on bro camping trips anymore because his girlfriend thinks that bro trips only mean trouble.
Still goes home to visit with the fam, but his girlfriend is always with him..ruining quality bonding time.
No longer goes fishing every Sunday because he’s with his girlfriend
Woman
Still gets to Netflix shows, but because her and her boyfriend don’t agree on genres all the time, no longer gets to binge like loves.
Gave up Pure Barre because she would rather spend her money on presents for her boyfriend.
Because her and her boyfriend’s class/work schedule are conflicting, she gives up being a devotional leader so that she can make up for the time lost with her boyfriend while they were apart for 8-10 hours each day.
Still takes her dog to the dog park, but her boyfriend goes with her.
This type of scenario happens all the time. I couldn’t tell you the amount of relationships I’ve personally witnessed where people gave up something they loved for someone. You probably know of a relationship similar to that above as well, or maybe it’s your own.
While couples can be perfectly happy in these types of relationships, resentment will begin to occur eventually. This is where a relationship starts taking a tumble downhill.
The things you love doing are a part of you. You were happy before your relationship because you were fulfilling your interests. When you met your significant other, you thought it would add to your fulfillment, not diminish it. It takes a while to realize how relationships can take a toll on your life, and sometimes it’s too late to repair the damage. I’ve had friends completely drop me when they entered relationships, and when the relationship went down the toilet, they came crawling back. The only thing is, during those 8 months…my life changed. I became a different person. (In case you didn’t know, you are constantly changing and that is okay.) I still loved her, but not in the same way. Our friendship never got back to where it was prior to her relationship.
You are your own unique person with your own unique interests. You need to continue pursuing your dreams/interests even if your significant other doesn’t have the same interests. The point of a relationship is not to give up the things you love and merge into one human-being. It’s to be two humans who gain even more fulfillment and happiness by being with each other.
‘me time’ is SO important. I cannot stress that enough. Even in marriages, having time to yourself can do a lot for your mental health. It is not vital to be with your significant other very chance you get. When you begin a relationship, make it a habit to continue doing the things you love. This will give your significant other the chance to continue doing the things he/she loves as well.
Spending time together is healthy. Y’all will gain interests that you enjoy doing together. But don’t forget to continue doing the things you loved before your relationship started.
Splash of vodka 